The best way to prevent this from happening is to keep doing the nasty well into retirement. Not every time you have sex is going to be mind blowing, sacred or even romantic, but it can still rock your world. While abstaining from sex is the only way to be sure you won't get HIV, many people don't know that you can contract by some infections through practically any form of sexual contact. So even taking care of things yourself or making out a bit won't help your blood pressure very much. If you aren't too keen on losing your sex drive for even a short period of time, masturbation should do the trick. Feel grateful you're a woman in this regard, as men actually can lose it if they don't use it. While I recommend everyone experience at least one year of weekly therapy, if it sounds like one of these issues may be the culprit of your spectatoring, it's of utmost important to seek professional help. Maybe you and your partner have lost a bit of the spark in your love life. If that describes you, see a licensed therapist who specializes in eating disorders. Regardless of the reason behind the lack of lovemaking in your life, if you've noticed any sudden changes in your mood or your body, it might be about time to get back in the game. That's right, we're talking about a wet dream. One study determined that those who had sex over a two week period had significantly lower blood pressure levels than those who were without sex, or even compared those who masturbated or participated in sexual activities that excluded intercourse. You'll tap into your partner's feelings One of the things that physical intimacy does for us is open us up to other forms as intimacy as well. What you are experiencing is what sex therapists often call spectatoring, a term coined by the legendary '60s sex researchers known as Masters and Johnson. It's no wonder that you're unable to enjoy the bodily pleasures of sex if you're eyeing your own body with a critical lens or wondering what your partner may be thinking about your appearance during the act. Sex therapist Holly Richmond, who has a PhD in Somatic Psychology even said, "People who are comfortable masturbating tend to be more thoughtful and giving lovers," so don't be shy! Like any other muscle in the body, studies have shown that when a man doesn't exercise his "Johnson" for an extended period of time, he's more likely to develop erectile dysfunction because sex helps to protect blood vessels and nerve fibers that are necessary for men to have an erection.