I have a vagina, you have a vagina. It was a lot for a year-old girl, just waking up to her sexuality, as well as her increasingly confusing racial identity, to bear. We were all living out — albeit in very different ways — the complex and painful legacy of slavery-era sexual ideologies. You have to acknowledge nature. Take dating, for example. I know as a black woman I am always going to be fetishised to an extent — and the darker you are, the more you are. In the end, the service ended up refunding her money because, they told her apologetically, they could not find her a date — not one single match. She knows a lot about the swinging scene because, together with her husband, she has been a keen swinger for a decade. Stereotypes about the sexual prowess of black people have an equally illustrious presence in literature, journalism and art. None of the men on one matchmaking database was willing to date a black woman In the hands of a bespoke matchmaking service, which spent hours eliciting intimate details about her personality, interests and views on relationships, a good deal of time-wasting would be stripped away. They are very threatened but secretly, they want to be with us Black men are still unfairly portrayed as rapists — not least by US president Donald Trump, who in called for the death penalty for five black teenagers, the so-called Central Park Five convicted of raping a female jogger in New York. Then, she explains, the lights are dimmed, and people begin retreating to a series of decadent playrooms. She decided it was an investment worth making to find a partner who, like her, works in the City and would share her ambition.