She does not want to have casual sex with YOU. That would go against your nature, prevent your personal growth, and show a lack of self-respect. Jess, Astroglide's resident sexologist. What would be unforgivable, however, is to hide your desires, your feelings. It's a hunch and I don't think she's lying to you, just confused. Physical contact influences the subconscious. Many years of separate bedrooms and passive-aggressive avoidance techniques later, I finally wised up when he began having an affair and suddenly decided he wanted a relationship like never before. He began to withdraw from me, although not competely; it turned into one of those maddening off-and-on scenarios. Sure, sex can 'just happen' but make sure you are on the same page. By always being there for your friend, you show her that her thoughts, moods and desires are more important than yours. Why go this route? She eats, she drinks, she goes to the bathroom. This confused me, since by this time we had moved in together and were a well-established couple. Remember, this is supposed to feel good, be fun and pleasurable. People can get themselves in trouble by not remembering that they are friends first, so there is a certain respect and consideration that goes with it," says Nelson. What are the boundaries? Many years ago, I fell head-over-heels in love with someone I had originally only intended to have casual sex with.